Feb 22, 2012


Out of all my character flaws (and I have many--impatience, temper, pouting when things don't go my way), my worrying is the worst. I have the innate ability to worry about anything and everything. I'll take anything, which can start as something very small, and worry about it until it becomes a very large and overwhelming situation. I can't help it. I worry about Avery CONSTANTLY--is she happy? Is she being fed okay? What if she's allergic to every fruit I give her for the rest of her life (the current list is bananas and pears)? Is this current I-need-you-all-the-time, whiny stage of her life caused by something I did...or didn't...do? Will she ever get back on a sleep schedule again?? I worry about myself--am I a good enough mom? Will I ever learn how to balance Avery and a home? Will I find time to paint again? Am I destined to be a zombie mom? I worry about my husband and my family--about their health, happiness and relationship with me. I worry about my relationship with God--is it strong enough? Do I pray enough? What is God going to say to me when He gets the chance? I even worry about worrying too much! I've always been this way. When invited to high school parties or to friend's houses whose parents were gone for the night, I declined their invitations because I worried that my dad would know the next door neighbors and they'd see my car at the party. Sometimes I wonder if I've been this way since birth. But it's Lent. And if I could truly give anything up, it wouldn't be Dr. Peppers for 40 days or facebook. It would be worrying. Since I know that isn't a realistic, I am going to make it my Lenten goal to worry LESS. For 40 days (and hopefully longer), I will worry less and enjoy more. I will give my problems over to God instead of thinking that I'm big enough to handle everything on my own. It shows my own lack of faith in believing that my worrying will solve anything instead of handing the problem immediately over to God and relying on Him to help me through. I will print off these quotes and place them where I can read them and remind myself daily that I need not worry. And hopefully by the end of this Lenten season, I'll be a worry-free(ish) and happier me. :)


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