May 15, 2012

Wake up call

Yellow shoes.  A skinnier body.  That new summer outfit.  A custom built house.  A fuller bank account.  I'm ashamed to admit it, but I have been suffering from a bad case of discontentment.  I know my life is wonderful and I am incredibly lucky.  I have a beautiful child who is pretty well behaved.   I have a husband who helps around the house and is sensitive to my needs.  We have a gorgeous starter house that's the perfect size for our family.  I have a Jesus who loves me despite my many, many faults.  Yet, I'm not happy.  I want things I can't have.  I want a new wardrobe to fit this post baby body.  I want the latest gadget that promises to make my life easier.  I've found a house plan that I've fallen in love with and I look at everyday.  I want to live in Etown, not 40 miles away.  I'm not proud of this.  I'm not proud that I'm surrounded by blessings and still feel unhappy.  Recent life events have left me feeling like a rug has been pulled from underneath me and I'm left realizing what's truly important in life.  It's not the worldly possessions I once envied and cherished.  I honestly believe that everything in life happens for a reason.  Maybe God put this bump in our journey to wake me up and realize that I don't need to have the latest and greatest.  I don't need to be surrounded by things.  I have family....and a large one at that.  Family that would do anything for me.  I have a daughter....a child that reminds me every single day that there's still good in the world and I have something to be thankful for.  I have a husband....who is my perfect half and I would be completely lost without.  I have a God....a God that, no matter what situation life throws me, is protecting me and loves me completely unconditionally.  This is enough. 

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