Jul 28, 2014

To my Avery, on your 3rd birthday.

My Avery girl:

1095 days.  It sounds funny when you break it down like that.  1095 days ago, I was laying in a hospital bed, willing my contractions to speed up so I could finally meet you  After all, I'd spent the last 7 months dreaming about this moment and what it would be like.  Would you look like me?  Would you have much hair?  Will I know what to do?  Will you grow up and be shy like me?  Before I knew it, you were here.  All 8 pounds of you.  They laid you on my chest and I loved you from the first moment I met you.  I never knew a human heart could contain the amount of joy I felt.  You were mine.  They were actually going to let me take this beautiful baby home with me to keep.

And here we are.  1095 days later.  Some days have been easy.  Your first steps.  Your first words.  Your first giggles.  The days where you play all day and tell me you love being here and love all your toys and your Mommy and Daddy.  But some days....they're not so fun.  The days where we fight.  I tell you that you have to be a good girl and you push back and assert your independence.  The days where we butt heads from morning to sundown and I go to bed feeling like I've failed you because I don't know that I made you feel loved that day.  Give me the bad days with the good days too, because they're all worth it.  Good days with you and you make me laugh and feel beaming pride and so much joy I think that there's no one in the world that is happier than I am in that moment.  I would take 10 bad days with you in exchange for one good one.  That's how good our good days are.

For 1095 days, I've watched you grow.  Not so very long ago, your little fingers couldn't reach the top of the bathroom counter.  Now, I watch those same little fingers get out your toothbrush and paste and get your stool to go brush your teeth by yourself.  In the recent past, I watched your little feet struggle to fit into even the tiniest of shoes.  Now, your feet are bedazzled with Dora and Minnie kicks that sparkle and shine and I marvel at your fashion sense because you picked them out yourself.  Just a few years ago, I watched your little mouth struggle to form words, learning the language that the big people around you all spoke.  So we developed a language, you and I.  You could say a few words and I would know exactly what you needed.  Now, I marvel at your ability to carry on a conversation with me.  You're constantly amazing me with the new words that you've learned and how well I think you talk.

1095 days.  Three years.  Seems like a fairly short period of time when you put it into numbers.  But for me, it's been a lifetime.  I can't remember what life was like before you arrived and turned the Gaddie household upside down.  What was life like before Disney Jr, Dora, potty training and giggles at the silliest things?  I can't remember.  These last 1095 days have been the happiest, most stressful, most fulfilling days I've ever experienced.  I hope God blesses me with many, many, many more days exactly like these.

Happy 3rd birthday my sweet girl.

Love, Mommy.


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