Oct 5, 2012

Don't Ever Grow Up....

I have a (somewhat) crazy confession to make.  I don't want my kid to grow up.  Not because I'm not ready for kindergarten or her terrible twos.  Not because I'm  not ready for her getting older or hitting new milestones, but simply because I think I'll miss this version of her that I have right now.  Is that crazy?  I don't want my baby to grow up anymore because I love this Avery that I have with me right now.  The Avery that is full of life and personality.  The Avery that's learning something new every day and loves showing off her new skills.  The Avery that learns a new word and insists on saying it every 5 minutes so you're completely aware that she's learned a new word (word of the week: uh oh!).  My Avery that giggles uncontrollably when I smell her stinky feet and loves trying on mommy's shoes.  I love my Avery that loves her Minnie Mouse doll and needs to lay her head on my shoulder to let me know it's time for a nap.  I love my Avery that's going through a MAJOR Mommy's girl stage.  I love this Avery that is still unsteady when she walks sometimes and is easily amused by the smallest things in life.  This Avery with the chubby feet and the downy soft hair.  I love my Avery that loves to dance to Jake and the Neverland Pirates and becomes mesmerized when the the Small Potatoes comes on Disney Junior.  I'm afraid I'll miss this Avery when she's 2, 3, 5+ years old.  Yes, I know that she'll still be the same person, but what if her personality changes?  What if her sweet, happy-go-lucky demeanor changes and she becomes a completely different person?  Yes, I loved Avery as a newborn, as a 3 month old, as a 6 month old.  But this Avery is so different.  She's so much fun to be around and watch as she learns about the world around her.  If she changed so much from newborn Avery, is she going to be completely different as 5 year old Avery?  Will my love for her be any different?  Or will I constantly be thinking about this Avery that I have right now and how much I miss her?  Does my mom love adult me less than she loved child/infant me?  Is this normal?

4 comments:

Sarah Beth said...

Sometimes I feel the same way with Ainsley. Then she bites a kid at the sitters, won't listen, ot throws a tantrum and I am ready for this phase to pass. I'm going to miss being able to rock her to sleep :(

Jordanna said...

Devan!!!! I believe that is a normal mommy feeling. I feel exactly the same way about Jackson. I think our love just changes with their changing personalities. God taught us to love the person not their ctions. remember that when she is 3.....

Sarah, Abigail still begs me to rock her to sleep every night. she is almost 4. :)

Dana Taylor said...

I agree with Jordanna. I've thought this about Talon ever since he was around 1 or 2 when he started developing his personality, and he's now 5 and I still feel the same. Trust me when I say, it just keeps getting better :)

Lisa Parrett said...

Your mom loves adult Devan just as much as she did baby Devan. . . Maybe more. Trust me, I know. ;-)

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