Apr 14, 2010

I'd do a lot of things different.....or would I?

I've got a question for all you former brides out there.....when does the remorse and depression of having your wedding over with and the overwhelming want to plan another one pass? I can't watch bridal shows like Say Yes to the Dress without being jealous that those ladies are still in the midst of wedding planning. Still getting to make decisions about bridesmaid dresses and table linens and cocktail napkins. I know I sound crazy, but I loved (almost) every single minute of wedding planning. I loved browsing page after page of the latest bridal magazines. I loved looking at pictures of other people's weddings, silently stealing ideas and putting my own twist on them. Now I look at wedding pictures and I sigh with longing. I glance at bridal magazines and see ideas that I never thought about for my own wedding. I guess that's my biggest issue--wanting to go back and change things that I did. For example, I am obsessed with all things black and white (I guess it's my inner Audrey wannabe). My wardrobe consists of 90% black and white, 10% every other color in the spectrum. When it came time to plan my wedding, it seemed absolutely natural that I should plan a black and white wedding. But I didn't want my bridesmaids to wear black. I don't know why....I've seen it in weddings and I LOVE it, but for some reason, the idea freaked me out when I was planning my own wedding. So I decided on eggplant purple and champagne accents. It was very vintage and very me, but not as "me" as a black and white wedding would have been. Looking back, I see that I could have picked out black and white printed dresses for my maids to wear....or a really cute black cocktail dress like my best friend Holli is doing for her wedding. But the second guessing extends to all aspects of my wedding....did we choose the right cake design? Since I only went to one bridal store and my dress was the 4th one I tried on, did I miss out on getting "the perfect dress???" Should I have included more songs in the ceremony for people to enjoy? Was our food selection diverse enough for everyone to get something they wanted??? And then I realize.....what's the point? My whole life, I have been a second guesser. I walk away from a situation immediately wondering how I could have done something differently. And what does that achieve? I can't go back and change things....so why make myself miserable? Our wedding was almost a year ago (wow, that's hard to believe) and it was beautiful. Yes, I would have loved a black and white wedding, but my girls looked beautiful in purple. Our florist picked the most gorgeous seasonal purple shades. My dress couldn't have been more perfect for me if I had designed it myself---lace, vintage, everything I wanted. I even had a wedding guest ask me if I was wearing my grandmother's wedding gown. Perfect! And even if we didn't have a big enough food spread or the right amount of songs in the preceremony..........who cares?!?! Why should I be looking back on my big day and wondering "what if?" Instead, I'm going to remember how handsome my future husband was in his tuxedo. How proud I was to be a member of my family---did you see how good my mom and dad looked?? How the church was packed full of every single person I wanted to spend my special day with. And that's all that matters, right? So, all you girls on Say Yes to the Dress: enjoy your day. Because I wouldn't trade mine for anything. :)


Holli said...

Thank you for writing this blog with all my recent wedding stress going on. It made me feel better. :)

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