Oct 17, 2012

Becoming a Proverbs 31 Woman....Step 1

Last week, I made the conscious decision to be the best "Proverbs 31" woman I could be.  I am going to strive to be better in my relationships with my family, provide food, wisdom and love for my husband and daughter and become closer in my walk with Christ through this project.  Before I start this project though, there's something that needs to be done.  Before I can tie on my apron strings or start praising my husband and bring him good, not harm, I have one step I need to take that's pretty crucial.  I first need to work on loving myself
I've always struggled with low self-esteem...pretty much my entire life actually.  I've never felt pretty enough, cool enough, fashionable enough, funny enough.  Basically, I just have never felt like I'm good enough.  Because of that, I am constantly comparing myself to everyone around me. 
"Gosh, she's so witty.  Why can't I think of funny things to say like that?" 
"Her child is so well-behaved.  What have I done wrong that Avery isn't perfect like her little girl?" 
"Man.  Her blog has 150 followers.  What am I doing wrong that I can't get that many?" 
And on and on and on the cycle continues.  Instead of thanking my Heavenly Father for giving me friends that are funny or great moms or good bloggers, I envy their life.  I compare them to me and always come up with the conclusion that I fall short.  But who's to say that their life is the standard for how things should be?  Why does my friend with the perfect child embody a perfect mom to me?  So my kid cries when she's hungry and has learned how to stomp her foot when things don't go her way....does that make me a bad mom?  So what if my friend's blog has more followers than mine?  I should be excited for her successes and thankful for the readers I do have.  Instead of always comparing myself to others, I need to be thankful for what I've been given.  Judging myself compared to the people around me is always going to make me feel inadequate.  This quote has now become my life motto.  I'm writing it down and carrying it in my car, pocket, wallet, purse so I can see it wherever I go. 

"Someone will always be prettier.  Someone
will always be smarter.  Someone
will always be younger.
But they will never be you."
How true is this?? She may have better clothes or a more successful blog, but she isn't ME!  She isn't a 5'4" brunette married to Marty, mother of Avery, daughter of Dennis and Lisa.  She can't spout out Disney quotes like it's her personal information and she didn't grow up with the best cousins a girl could ask for.  She doesn't have a small scar on her left hand from a curling iron burn right before her ballet recital.  She isn't the big sister of Dayna and Kristen. She's never had my Granny's fried chicken or watched golf with my Papaw.  She doesn't know what it's like to be rocked by my Meemaw or have memories of my Peepaw.    She isn't me.  I'm me...and I'm the only me there is.  God made me special...and HE loves me.  So what if I don't have her life or her looks or her cooking skills?  I do have a plethora of skills and abilities that God DID bless me with.  While I was brainstorming about this post, I was trying to think of my best features.  Sadly, it took me awhile to come up with more than 5 things that I currently like about myself.  There's something so wrong with that!  How can I ever expect Avery to respect me or Marty to love the unique things about me if I can't be confident and love myself?  How can I ever teach my daughter to have self-respect and self-worth if I don't embody that belief myself?  So, every morning (and hopefully multiple times a day), I'm going to start giving myself praises.  During my lather, rinse, repeat routine, I'm going to name 5 things that I like about myself.  And they can't be the same every day.  Five DIFFERENT things that I like about myself or think that I do well.  Or maybe I'll just repeat the mantra from The Help daily: 
"You is kind.  You is smart.  You is important."


Sarah Beth said...

I'll help you out...

1. You do have great style. It is very classy, and traditional which means in five years no one will look back at what you were wearing and laugh. I want to raid your closet and steal all your cardigans.

2. You are awesome at organizing things. Seriously jealous of your checkbook and fridge.

3. You have really nice nails. Yea, I noticed and I'm jealous.

4. You give great advice.

5. You are an awesome writer and great at blog design. You have taught me so much about blogging!

Sarah Strader said...

I ran across your blog from a couple of my friends blogs and just wanted to say I truly enjoy reading your posts! This is a great post and something that is a great reminder for myself. I don't know you in real life, but I think one of your good qualities (besides this blog & writing) is you have great taste in baby names! (I have a little girl named Avery as well...well not so little anymore, she's almost 8.)

Devan Gaddie said...

Haha...thanks! I'll tell myself that tomorrow morning for one of my 5 things. Thanks for stopping by! :)

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